One of my best friends and old Marine Corp buddy Chris
got married on Veterans Day I have known Chris since we were in the Marines
together back in 2002. Since then he moved back home to Oklahoma and I returned
home to Texas. We maintained contact we has went down to see me at least once
every other month and I go up to see him every other month. So we see each
other at least once a month. Well because he is more like a brother than a
friend I guess that’s how most military people feel about the people they served
with. I had been at all four of my previous Marine Corp buddies weddings.
Chris was getting married on Veterans Day, he currently works for the State of Oklahoma and his fiancé Kendall (Now wife) teaches 2nd grade. So they had planned on taking Monday off of work they could have a 4 day weekend. They took their mini honeymoon Saturday and Sunday and returned back Monday for the Wedding. They honeymooned in Dallas because of its convenience. They were going to get married this spring over spring break but it is amazing how a pregnancy speeds everything up. They are expecting their first child together in May, Kendall wanted to get married before she got fat. That is a little bit of back story.
I got up Sunday morning from my cousins house in OKC got dressed in jeans and t-shirt and obviously everything underneath and took my Cousin Jimmy to brunch. The brunch at the National Western Heritage Museum is delicious. Jimmy was suffering a hangover from the night before. So as much as he was giving me crap I would make loud noises to make his hangover worse so it all evened out.
Chris and Kendall we getting married in Jenks so I had planned on staying at a hotel close to Jenks over in South Tulsa. However, Chris insisted on me staying at his house Sunday night, when I found out that there was going to be 4 more of my Marine buddies (Dave, John, Chris D, Brian) there I was seriously considering it. The kind person Kendall is asked me to stay at her apartment instead. Well let’s see, I could stay with 4 Marine brothers and their wives and definitely get picked on or I could stay in a quiet apartment. I opted to stay at Kendall’s apartment Sunday night. Plus I promised the guys I would stay over at Chris's Tuesday Night as they had planned on getting drunk at the wedding and Chris and Kendall were going to stay at her apartment as it was less crowded than his house.
I left my cousins house Sunday afternoon and made the 2 hour drive from OKC to Tulsa. I made it to Chris's house around 3:00pm. I knocked on the door and Christy answered she is Dave's wife. We hugged and she committed how I had changed at first she thought it was a joke. I was like no they are real. She complimented my rack which was flattering and strange. The four guys were in Chris's living room watching football drinking beer and eating wings. So I went in and made an introduction they were so engulfed with the game they were like heah Joe, I was like heah; they went back to the game. I went into Chris's kitchen where Kristen was in there she is Chris D's wife.
Kristen -Oh My Gosh you look well
Me - Thank you
Kristen - Are those real
Me - As real as $6000 can buy
Kristen - $6000 looks like money well spent
Kristen - Mine didn’t get that big when I was pregnant
Me - Speaking of that where are your two boys
Kristen - At home with grandma and grandpa
Me - Christy where’s little Dave?
Christy - With my mom
Me- So no one brought their kids
Christy - No just our husbands
About this time Stephanie (John’s wife) and Jennifer (Brian's wife) gets back from Buffalo Wild Wing with like 6 big boxes of wings. Brian got up to kiss his wife and took one of the three boxes she was carry back to the couch. I took one more and sit it on the table and took two of Stephanie’s and sit them on the table.
Stephanie - "I thought you getting boobs was a joke"
Me - Nope I got them
Stephanie - "Get em big enough"
Me - DDs I hope so I could have got Gs’ but settled on DDs
Stephanie - Gs’ what were you going to do get Gs’ and rent them as flotation devices
Me - No but good idea should I change my mind
About this time the Cardinals Rams games was half time so the guys start trickling in.
Dave "Joe when did you get here"
Me "Two hours ago"
Dave "Are you sure"
Me Yes
Dave " Heah XXXholes look who finally decided to show up"
Me "Heah you bunch of rejects"
Brian "Chris said you would look different from the last time we saw you, but you still look like the same puss
you were"
Me "thanks"
Stephanie " Seriously you idiots can't see those giant tits on him
Chris D"I just thought he was fat he looked like he has gained some weight since I saw him last"
Jennifer "Yeah he gained a lot in his chest"
Chris D" Is that normal"
Me " It is when you get breast implants"
Chris D " No F ing way"
Me yes F ing way
Chris D "Can I see them"
Me "Would you ask to see Stephanie’s Boobs or Jennifer’s Boobs"
Chris D "hell no they are not my wife, but you are my brother."
Well still isn’t that a little weird
Christy "Yes that is a little weird but again so is getting DD implants"
Me "Chris if your wife doesn’t mind I will lift up my shirt and show you them I will keep my bra on but you will still be able to see them"
Chris "You wear a bra"
Me "Of course"
Kristen "Actually I don’t mind at all I kind wanted to see them myself"
Me "Really you have boobs"
Kristen "Not that big"
So I went ahead and lifted up my shirt and showed Chris D and Kristen my boobs, they were like they look so real
Me "Well because they are"
Chris went back and told the other guys so the other guys and ironically their wives wanted to see them so I lift my shirt and showed them
Dave "You wear a bra"
Christy " Of course Joe does got to wear a bra with boobs that big"
Me 'Thank you'
Chris D " heah what kind of underwear do you wear"
Me " really?"
Chris D " yeah do you wear boxers or briefs"
Me" you want to know if I wear boxers or briefs"
Chris D " Yeah"
Me "neither"
Chris D "You go commando"
Jennifer "Of course not, he wears panties"
Chris D " You wear panties, HA HA heah everyone Joe wears panties"
Christy " Of Course he wears a bra why not panties"
Me " Yes I wear panties so what"
So the rest of the even was my buddies giving me all kinds of crap and them getting drunk. About 10 pm I headed over to Kendall’s house. They asked me where I was staying "At Kendall’s
Stay here sleep on the couch. No thanks Chris has a 3 bedroom house and 4 couples sleeping here it will be crowded versus Kendall has a 2 bedroom apartment and no one sleeping there but me. Stephanie "Do you think Kendall would mind us sleeping over their tonight" me Let me ask i am sure she would not mind
So I called Kendal she told me to sleep in her room and let Stephanie and John sleep in the guest room. So we headed over to Kendall’s. Told everyone we would be back in the morning. They grabbed their bags and headed with me John was like leave your bag here we will come back to change. Stephanie decided to take her bag and change at Kendall’s.
When they got to me Car John asked me whose where all those bags, I told him mine good lordy how long you going to be gone. Till Wednesday morning
You need 4 bags
Stephanie "Yes"
Stephanie sat in the front seat and we made small talk she told me about her girls 4 and 6 and how precious they are and I listened attentively, she talked about everything she told me she was surprised I got them I told her I had been thinking about it awhile. She asked me about why I chose the size I told her the story. Out of the 4 wives Stephanie and I got along the least well and it seemed we were making progress.
We get to Kendall’s John headed on in I carried my bags into Kendall’s room and showed them the guest room.
John was still drunk but he ended up drinking some more and watching ESPN. I watched a little however, I could watch TV at home I wanted to talk to my friends. Stephanie and I talked she asked me what i was wearing to the wedding so I showed her my dress.
She told me it was lovely I thanked her. She asked me how many weddings I worn dresses to I have told her this will be my first. I asked her how many she had worn dresses to and she said all of them which were like 10 of them. I was like dam I didn’t want to have to buy 10 more dresses that had 1 use instead I hope to wear this again to another function.
Stephanie "You spend $6000 on boobs but don’t want to buy a dress you will wear only once"
Me "yes"
Stephanie "Don’t get married"
Me "Who said I would wear the dress"
Stephanie "You wouldnt would you, you would look silly in a tux.
Me " Actually I was going to wear a tux and stand up with the 4 guys but I looked really stupid the tux looked like it made a plate for my boobs to sit on
Stephanie " Really"
yes "Really"
Chris Still wanted me to stand up with them even if wearing a dress and Kendall did as well
Stephanie "You should have"
me If I did the wedding would have been about me instead of them so as much as I wanted to stand up there i knew this was there day and I will be a vocal supportive guest.
I went into Kendalls room put on my nightgown and robe and came back into the living room
Stephanie " From the neck down you look like a real woman from the neck up not so much
Me "Thank you I guess"
Stephanie "Do you have to cover those up while swimming?"
Me "When I go swimming usually women’s one piece or tankini I have one of each as I am two chunky for the two piece.
Stephanie 'You don’t wear men’s trunks"
Me "No otherwise I would be flashing people and I don’t need to get arrested"
Stephanie "I don’t think they could arrest you otherwise they would arrest my neighbor he is really fat and 50 and mows his lawn wearing no shirt
Me I think the cops may see things differently
Stephanie " A guy is a guy is a guy
Me " However I think the cops may feel differently
About midnight we got around to going to bed
Chris was getting married on Veterans Day, he currently works for the State of Oklahoma and his fiancé Kendall (Now wife) teaches 2nd grade. So they had planned on taking Monday off of work they could have a 4 day weekend. They took their mini honeymoon Saturday and Sunday and returned back Monday for the Wedding. They honeymooned in Dallas because of its convenience. They were going to get married this spring over spring break but it is amazing how a pregnancy speeds everything up. They are expecting their first child together in May, Kendall wanted to get married before she got fat. That is a little bit of back story.
I got up Sunday morning from my cousins house in OKC got dressed in jeans and t-shirt and obviously everything underneath and took my Cousin Jimmy to brunch. The brunch at the National Western Heritage Museum is delicious. Jimmy was suffering a hangover from the night before. So as much as he was giving me crap I would make loud noises to make his hangover worse so it all evened out.
Chris and Kendall we getting married in Jenks so I had planned on staying at a hotel close to Jenks over in South Tulsa. However, Chris insisted on me staying at his house Sunday night, when I found out that there was going to be 4 more of my Marine buddies (Dave, John, Chris D, Brian) there I was seriously considering it. The kind person Kendall is asked me to stay at her apartment instead. Well let’s see, I could stay with 4 Marine brothers and their wives and definitely get picked on or I could stay in a quiet apartment. I opted to stay at Kendall’s apartment Sunday night. Plus I promised the guys I would stay over at Chris's Tuesday Night as they had planned on getting drunk at the wedding and Chris and Kendall were going to stay at her apartment as it was less crowded than his house.
I left my cousins house Sunday afternoon and made the 2 hour drive from OKC to Tulsa. I made it to Chris's house around 3:00pm. I knocked on the door and Christy answered she is Dave's wife. We hugged and she committed how I had changed at first she thought it was a joke. I was like no they are real. She complimented my rack which was flattering and strange. The four guys were in Chris's living room watching football drinking beer and eating wings. So I went in and made an introduction they were so engulfed with the game they were like heah Joe, I was like heah; they went back to the game. I went into Chris's kitchen where Kristen was in there she is Chris D's wife.
Kristen -Oh My Gosh you look well
Me - Thank you
Kristen - Are those real
Me - As real as $6000 can buy
Kristen - $6000 looks like money well spent
Kristen - Mine didn’t get that big when I was pregnant
Me - Speaking of that where are your two boys
Kristen - At home with grandma and grandpa
Me - Christy where’s little Dave?
Christy - With my mom
Me- So no one brought their kids
Christy - No just our husbands
About this time Stephanie (John’s wife) and Jennifer (Brian's wife) gets back from Buffalo Wild Wing with like 6 big boxes of wings. Brian got up to kiss his wife and took one of the three boxes she was carry back to the couch. I took one more and sit it on the table and took two of Stephanie’s and sit them on the table.
Stephanie - "I thought you getting boobs was a joke"
Me - Nope I got them
Stephanie - "Get em big enough"
Me - DDs I hope so I could have got Gs’ but settled on DDs
Stephanie - Gs’ what were you going to do get Gs’ and rent them as flotation devices
Me - No but good idea should I change my mind
About this time the Cardinals Rams games was half time so the guys start trickling in.
Dave "Joe when did you get here"
Me "Two hours ago"
Dave "Are you sure"
Me Yes
Dave " Heah XXXholes look who finally decided to show up"
Me "Heah you bunch of rejects"
Brian "Chris said you would look different from the last time we saw you, but you still look like the same puss
you were"
Me "thanks"
Stephanie " Seriously you idiots can't see those giant tits on him
Chris D"I just thought he was fat he looked like he has gained some weight since I saw him last"
Jennifer "Yeah he gained a lot in his chest"
Chris D" Is that normal"
Me " It is when you get breast implants"
Chris D " No F ing way"
Me yes F ing way
Chris D "Can I see them"
Me "Would you ask to see Stephanie’s Boobs or Jennifer’s Boobs"
Chris D "hell no they are not my wife, but you are my brother."
Well still isn’t that a little weird
Christy "Yes that is a little weird but again so is getting DD implants"
Me "Chris if your wife doesn’t mind I will lift up my shirt and show you them I will keep my bra on but you will still be able to see them"
Chris "You wear a bra"
Me "Of course"
Kristen "Actually I don’t mind at all I kind wanted to see them myself"
Me "Really you have boobs"
Kristen "Not that big"
So I went ahead and lifted up my shirt and showed Chris D and Kristen my boobs, they were like they look so real
Me "Well because they are"
Chris went back and told the other guys so the other guys and ironically their wives wanted to see them so I lift my shirt and showed them
Dave "You wear a bra"
Christy " Of course Joe does got to wear a bra with boobs that big"
Me 'Thank you'
Chris D " heah what kind of underwear do you wear"
Me " really?"
Chris D " yeah do you wear boxers or briefs"
Me" you want to know if I wear boxers or briefs"
Chris D " Yeah"
Me "neither"
Chris D "You go commando"
Jennifer "Of course not, he wears panties"
Chris D " You wear panties, HA HA heah everyone Joe wears panties"
Christy " Of Course he wears a bra why not panties"
Me " Yes I wear panties so what"
So the rest of the even was my buddies giving me all kinds of crap and them getting drunk. About 10 pm I headed over to Kendall’s house. They asked me where I was staying "At Kendall’s
Stay here sleep on the couch. No thanks Chris has a 3 bedroom house and 4 couples sleeping here it will be crowded versus Kendall has a 2 bedroom apartment and no one sleeping there but me. Stephanie "Do you think Kendall would mind us sleeping over their tonight" me Let me ask i am sure she would not mind
So I called Kendal she told me to sleep in her room and let Stephanie and John sleep in the guest room. So we headed over to Kendall’s. Told everyone we would be back in the morning. They grabbed their bags and headed with me John was like leave your bag here we will come back to change. Stephanie decided to take her bag and change at Kendall’s.
When they got to me Car John asked me whose where all those bags, I told him mine good lordy how long you going to be gone. Till Wednesday morning
You need 4 bags
Stephanie "Yes"
Stephanie sat in the front seat and we made small talk she told me about her girls 4 and 6 and how precious they are and I listened attentively, she talked about everything she told me she was surprised I got them I told her I had been thinking about it awhile. She asked me about why I chose the size I told her the story. Out of the 4 wives Stephanie and I got along the least well and it seemed we were making progress.
We get to Kendall’s John headed on in I carried my bags into Kendall’s room and showed them the guest room.
John was still drunk but he ended up drinking some more and watching ESPN. I watched a little however, I could watch TV at home I wanted to talk to my friends. Stephanie and I talked she asked me what i was wearing to the wedding so I showed her my dress.
She told me it was lovely I thanked her. She asked me how many weddings I worn dresses to I have told her this will be my first. I asked her how many she had worn dresses to and she said all of them which were like 10 of them. I was like dam I didn’t want to have to buy 10 more dresses that had 1 use instead I hope to wear this again to another function.
Stephanie "You spend $6000 on boobs but don’t want to buy a dress you will wear only once"
Me "yes"
Stephanie "Don’t get married"
Me "Who said I would wear the dress"
Stephanie "You wouldnt would you, you would look silly in a tux.
Me " Actually I was going to wear a tux and stand up with the 4 guys but I looked really stupid the tux looked like it made a plate for my boobs to sit on
Stephanie " Really"
yes "Really"
Chris Still wanted me to stand up with them even if wearing a dress and Kendall did as well
Stephanie "You should have"
me If I did the wedding would have been about me instead of them so as much as I wanted to stand up there i knew this was there day and I will be a vocal supportive guest.
I went into Kendalls room put on my nightgown and robe and came back into the living room
Stephanie " From the neck down you look like a real woman from the neck up not so much
Me "Thank you I guess"
Stephanie "Do you have to cover those up while swimming?"
Me "When I go swimming usually women’s one piece or tankini I have one of each as I am two chunky for the two piece.
Stephanie 'You don’t wear men’s trunks"
Me "No otherwise I would be flashing people and I don’t need to get arrested"
Stephanie "I don’t think they could arrest you otherwise they would arrest my neighbor he is really fat and 50 and mows his lawn wearing no shirt
Me I think the cops may see things differently
Stephanie " A guy is a guy is a guy
Me " However I think the cops may feel differently
About midnight we got around to going to bed
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